Tum Se Hi DEV D <3

"To err is Human, To forgive is divine" as the old adage goes but in this ruthless world these days i would say "Selfless Love is Divine" and is it so divine that it can make you forgive someone who broke your heart, inflicted pain and snatched everything you had? My exact thoughts post watching Lootera and leaving aside my evergreen BONG CONNECTION and Sawaar loon ;-)

I don't want to go indepth about sizzling chemistry between Pahi and Varun Srivastav and betrayal in love but i guess most difficult thing in the Universe to stop loving or moving ahead from someone who never intend to hurt you. That's exactly dilemma of a girl next door Rudrashi Chowdhury (character figment of my imagination and inspiration from life's experiences :-), big ShivBhakt,fond of Urdu Poetry and idolises Parvati's true Love for Shiva,  and gave her precious heart to Daksh Dasgupta,her college batchmate who hails from West Bengal and ardent Soccer Fan. Irony is that both Rudrakshi and Daksh hardly knew each other but what caught Rudrakshi's attention was his innocent smile and gentle mishti Bengali conversations with his friends in the college cafe. Rudrakshi immediately spotted Daksh in social network site and was overwhelmed to know Daksh studied in St. Edmund School located in her hometown Shillong. Now having a common platform to talk about Rudrakshi after weeks of contemplation and endless discussion with her bestie Shraddha aka Shradz as she fondly calls her send a message to Daksh. She narrated how she was happy to come across someone familiar with her hometown in college and anxiously waiting for Daksh's reply. Sweet as he is and sweeter was his reply wherein he mentioned how glad he is to have come across someone from Shillong after ages as he had spend best period of his life in her hometown. Excited as her nature was, Rudrakshi being non-bengali told Daksh-aami bangla alpo alpo jaani :-) (i know Bangla little bit) As days passed by and Rudrakshi’s college end term was near and it was getting difficult for her to keep her feelings for Daksh within her. Being of creative bent of mind, she composed a poem for her beloved and revived her old writing and scribbling habit. She had asked this question to herself "Am i falling in Love" compiling each and every minute details of Daksh, his hidden singing talent and love for Soccer and she ended her note with these lines " 

If its meant to be it will be-The most coveted deepest BONG connection or else..........

"Someday someone will come in my life and make me realize why it didnot work with anyone else :-)

Shraddha asked her to confess her true feelings before she left college for her hometown but Rudrakshi was getting more and more anxious. She felt Daksh might be in a relationship with someone else but most of his classmates including Vanessa said confidently he is single and her feelings grew more and more for this sweet sober Bong Babu :-)

Last week of Rudrakshi's college life and she got to know Ugly Truth that Daksh was committed. Shraddha was worried thinking this awful news would be unbearable for her Bestie. But Shivji(Rudrakshi's Universe Mahadev's blessings) she was able to accept the same like pinch of salt as her close buddy Kabir Hashmi played guitar in last college session. Kabir was a magician (Actor+Photographer+Painter+Musician) and in nutshell artist and for Rudrakshi a celebrity, she kind of worshipped him being his Biggest FAN and also has his autograph treasured till date. Kabir gave her best farewell surprise ever and she left college on a happy note. Rudrakshi had no expectations from Daksh because it was eternal true feel and she believed in True Love is sacrifice and wanted his happiness wholeheartedly. So with heavy heart she said bye to him. He had slight clue of her feelings and didnot want to hurt her and wished her goodluck for future.  She just told Daksh over a chat how he inspired her back into writing and he just said one line that keeps her going till date-Keep up the Good Work. Remember Life gets better. She sincerely asked him to chase his soccer dreams always. As they parted their ways, the song coincidentally played in college mess was-Sheesha ho ya dil ho aakhir toot jata hain and Rudrakshi just laughed thinking how weird things seem with such co-incidences. Rudrakshi nicknamed Daksh as "DEV D" (not he is some Devdas but she refrains emotional attyachar as he means the world to her :-) Rudrakshi realized connecting the dots that Daksh came in her to inspire her to get back to writing her passion since a kid.

As time passed by, Rudrakshi told Kabir how she genuinely fell for Daksh and how lucky she is to have a best buddy who unknowingly eased her pain by his magical presence and at same time Kabir also was coping with his recent breakup with Christine, Spanish national whom he met in college exchange fest. Meanwhile Rudrashi's father fell ill and was admitted in hospital. Those crucial moments Rudrakshi used to talk with other college close buddies Shankar Nath, Bhabesh, Vanessa, Kaushik whom she trusted and confided everything and one of them she treated like her own younger brother named Subroto Sen. After a while when her father was discharged from the hospital and there was a Mohit Chauhan Live in concert at St. Edmund School. Rudrakshi loved heart touching tracks of Mohit Chauhan and especially TUM SE HI from romantic commedy and Bolly blockbuster "Jab We Met". Unable to move on from Daksh's thoughts in head she decided to watch the concert with friends in her hometown. That night she was restless and message Daksh wishing him all the marital bliss ahead thinking he is going to tie the knot with his sweetheart soon. 

After two months, Rudrakshi was casually browsing social networking site and came across her college  professor Mr. Kumar posting about the other batch's convocation. She just clicked generally to know about the event and her happiness knew no bounds to see Dakshi winning a medal in the prestigious convocation ceremony. Rudrakshi smiled within because she also knew Daksh was pretty laid back guy, contend with life and away from mad race & competitions. Rudrakshi remembered in her birthchart it was mentioned she will be lucky for her beloved friends. It gave her outmost joy to congratulate Daksh and also mentioned about her father’s illness. Daksh being such a wonderful human being replied Rudrakshi’s wishes really means a lot to him and he will pray for her father’s speedy recovery.

Kaushik was excited to break the news to Rudrakshi about Daksh "Dada" as he fondly addresses his college senior. But before he could, Rudrakshi interrupted as she knows everything about her 1st love before anyone else. Kaushik was a brat who loves to travel and was dating Karishma, bold beauty he encountered in one of his trip to Switzerland-olalala romantic city where even Raj-Simran DDLJ romance was shot. 

Rudrakshi was talking to Bhavesh who broke strange yet shocking news to her that Daksh was dumped by his girlfriend. Rudrakshi brushed it aside causally thinking it to be some rubbish rumour. After a month, romantic dreamy girl's world was shattered as the man who loved her the most in this wide world left for heavenly abode and yes we getting it right here, her beloved Father whose one of the greatest desire to see his daughter's marriage. Rudrakshi was torn apart and only strength in such testing time for her was her doubtfree Faith in Her Mahadev and Buddhist chant. She was super active member of a Buddhist Organization spread across 192 countries and originated in Japan. Shankar Nath, her true friend used to always cheer her and she confided in him about her liking for Daksh. Shankar respected her thoughts and said this wonderful line that Love is too perfect in his mind just like poetry is for him. He made her smile citing Ghalib-Duniya Main aur bhi gaam hain Mohabbat ke siwa :-)

Rudrakshi was feeling terrible because once she had mentioned to her Dad subtly about Daksh's existence but it was so unfortunate for her as he was committed. She felt she should inform Daksh about her father’s untimely demise. At midnight she received most touching message wherein Daksh said God will give her the strength to cope her with such precious personal loss and he is sure she will meet a great guy and much better than him in future. Also added his signature line she adored like hell-Remember, Life gets better :-) Rudrakshi wished her once love of her life all the very best and said for her Friendship is above anything in the world.

As days passed and Rudrakshi contemplating to leave Shillong and seek greener pastures on her work front and she was happy to know that Daksh and others got great job offers. Daksh will be based in Kolkata closer to home sweet home and so his happiness knew no bounds. Suddenly on one Monday post her father’s death she decides to give aarti to her Universe Mahadev Shiva and as she came out of the temple she got a call from her younger like brother Subroto. Subroto was unaware regarding Rudrakshi’s feelings for Daksh and since he was leaving for Delhi and it will take several months for her to meet him in person, she just shared her heart to Subroto. And Subroto’s immediate reaction was Daksh is a nice guy but he was dumped by his Girlfriend. Are you aware? He asked Rudrakshi. In reply she said she heard but thought its some kind of rumour and hard for her to believe as she can’t see Daksh being heartbroken. Subroto told her that how he wished he should know about her heartfelt thoughts. She said its too late now and not the real good time and also she has moved on. Subroto told her you might meet someone better, who knows and Rudrakshi said doesnot matter to her anymore who is good, better and best as she will accept life way it comes by. She ends the conversation with her little bro 

laughing off narrating how in college she danced from her heart seeing Daksh in the crowd in one of the college fest :-)

Deep inside Rudrakshi had this question to Faith,God,Destiny & Universe- Why she met Daksh if it was not meant to be and if he was so committed why he had to go through bitter break up? And on contrary her love was so pure and selfless without no expectations. Why Daksh can’t see through her hidden genuine emotions?Now when she had almost moved on once again Life came as a Full Circle.

She had disturbed sleep, puzzled by so many endless thoughts of future. She has her beloved mother more of a best friend to look after, her career, and get settle and do everything possible to always keep her beloved Father’s soul happy and contend. She sincerely wished Daksh’s happiness and she was hurt because he was hurt. This is the depth of human greatest emotion and gift called LOVE.

Unlike Varun Srivastav who ditches Pakhi in Lootera, Rudrakshi’s love for Daksh was sacrifice,also Daksh never intend to hurt her but destiny was playing hide and seek games with them time and again. Rudrakshi is grateful to God that she did not had to undergo heartache unlike her majority of the girls and having heard their sad tale of woe because Daksh was genuinely a good person and was never mean or wanted to hurt her at any cost.

On June 20th June 2013, Doorbell rang at Rudrakshi’s place. She received a letter saying she is chosen for a regional training to be held in Kolkata on 28th July 2013 as part of Japan NGO she was active member.

Kolkata…….Mishtiland…………Daksh, Rudrakshi’s eye candy out there and so many ?? Isn’t it mystic?Out of both excitement and anxiety she calls Subroto who explains her how a go getter in between will mess up the matter and asked her to have heart to heart conversation with Daksh. Daksh is way too crestfallen and has no room for another relationship and all Rudrakshi wants is presence of his beautiful Friendship in her life and she has left things to God and if they are destined to be together it will be no matter what.

Rudrakshi is about to board train to Kolkata, her bestie Shraddha pings her saying to talk to Daksh one last time and if possible to meet him in person but she is scared to get hurt again. Last time Kabir’s magical performance healed her wounds but this time it will be bit too much to handle. She is in a big dilemma.

Dil hain ki manta hain nahin is apt for you Darling Rudrakshi as one of her sister and comrade in Faith, Bipasha keeps teasing her. But Bipasha also warns her to make sure if Daksh is the one for her because they harldy know each other personally and Rudrakshi now in total Bong avatar post Sawaar Loon-aami jaani na(I don’t know) Because she doesnot wish to further bleed in love and get pain of unrequited love instead she wants to say Cheers to beautiful Life and make it meaningful for plenty of others who care for her and may be Daksh’s words some kind of prophecy-she will meet someone better than him in future? But Rudrakshi knows her heart can never compare and deep inside she just has this one great wish that Daksh must know about her selfless love for him no matter.

Will they reunite again or Daksh will be indifferent to Rudrakshi’s true feelings? Rudrakshi has no contact details of Daksh not even his email id or mobile number. Kaushik is also out of town who was Rudrakshi’s last ray of Hope to make Daksh aware about her genuine feelings while they were in Kolkata. Rudrakshi is lost in deep thoughts and also back of her mind thinks if it is better to start afresh overseas if possible and close the chapter of Daksh altogether rather getting hurt upteempth time. Train reaches Howrah station. Rudrakshi heart is beating fast as she is humming Sawaar Loon and what if she bumps into Daksh but alas………..(to be continued)