The Holy Shrine of Kamrup – Maa Kamakhya Shaktipeeth_/\_

[Kamakhya Devi Pranam – Mantra]

Kamakhya Barade Devi Nilaparbata Basini. Twam Devi Jagatam-Matar Yonimudretute.O!

Goddess Kamakhya, dweller of the Neelparvat, mother of the world, Joni Mudra, I bow to Thee.

The Kalika Purana, an ancient work in Sanskrit describes Kamakhya as the yielder of all desires, the young bride of Lord Shiva, and the giver of salvation.

It is believed that no Tirth Yatra(pilgrimage) is complete without divine blessings of Goddess Kamakhya meaning "beloved goddess of desire". The Holy Shrine of Kamakhya is situated in Nilachal Hill located in Assam. The Present Assam was referred to as Kamrup in many of the ancient Indian literature. Beautifully Mythological tale is weaven which denotes the significance of the land of Kamrup.

Shiva-Siva, meaning "auspicious one" is a major Hindu deity and is "the Destroyer" or "the Transformer" among theTrimurti, the Hindu Trinity of the primary aspects of the divine. He is considered the Supreme God within Shaivism, one of the three most influential denominations in Hinduism.The crescent moon on His head symbolizes the consciousness in human beings, the Ganga symbolizes the Life Force and the snakes on Shiva's body represent the myriad of living beings. "Neelkanth" His another name as He drank entire poison churn in the sea to protect the universe and mankind.

Shiva,Lord of Dance as Natraja is usually worshipped in the an iconic form of lingam. He is described as an omniscient yogi, who lives an ascetic life on Mount Kailash, as well as a householder with a wife Parvati, and two sons, Ganesha and Kartikeya. Legends tell the tale of eternal Love Saga of Shiv-Parvati but Parvati being reincarnation of Sati, daughter of Daksh Prajapati who was an ardent devotee of Lord Vishnu. Sati was married to Shiva and lived in Kailash presently located in Tibet, now under the Chinese dominance.

Daksh intended to perform Yajna, a sacrificial rite to which all the deities except Shiva were invited. Sati expressed her desire to go for the Yajna but when Siva forbade her to go, she flew into a great rage and transformed herself into Shyama or Kali. When Mahadev (Shiva) sought to escape her wrath, she assumed ten different forms, the Dasamahavidya, and surrounded Him. A helpless Shiva finally allowed Her to go to Daksha's yajna. However enraged Daksh insulted Shiva to show his displeasure towards his son-in-law. Unable to bear Her father’s nasty remarks for Her husband Shiva, She sacrificed herself in the holy pyre of the Yajna. Upon receiving the news of Sati's demise, furious Shiva changed Himself into the fierce Rudra and came to the yajna, destroyed the sacrificial ground, and beheaded Daksha. But following the fervent plea of Daksha's wife, He restored him to life by joining the head of the sacrificial goat upon his body. Driven insane with grief, He placed the dead body of Sati upon His shoulders and roamed the Three Worlds. An alarmed Brahma and other Devas (divine beings) approached Vishnu, the preserver, to restore the balance of the world. So Vishnu sent His Sudarsan Chakra (discus) which cut Sati's body to pieces. Wherever the pieces of her mutilated body fell on Earth in 51 different places also denoting 51 Alphabets in Sanskrit, it came to be regarded as a "Shakti Peetha", with immense sacred relevance. Each became a sacred spot  the divine decree.Her, yoni (reproductive organ of Sati, genitals) fell on the Nilachal Hill. This hill was said to represent the body of Lord Shiva Himself, and when Sati's genitals fell on it, the mountain turned blue and came to be known as the Nilachal or the Blue hill (nila meaning blue; achal meaning mountain)

As Shiva continued to do penance, the other Gods became afraid that He would never come out of it and hence darkness in entire Universe prevailed. They sent Kamadeva, the God of Love, to make Shiva fall in love again, and thereby break His penance. Kamdeva succeeded in his mission by sending cupid arrow, but Shiva was so enraged at the result that he burnt Kamadeva into ashes by a fiery glance of his third eye. Kamadeva eventually regained his life and his original 'form' (Rupa) in Assam and the land where this took place become known as "Kamrup" ("Kamarupa")

There are so many tales written in different books regarding construction of temple Kamakhya. Kamdev erected the temple with the help of Biswakarma(Lord of Machineries) which is famous as a temple of Anandakshya. There is also another opinion that the temple was made in the ruling period of king Narakasur. It is said in different books that there are four gates on the hill of Devi such as Tiger Gate, Hanuman Gate,Heaven Gate and Lion Gate which were made by king Narakasur. Mythological scriptures believe that Narakasur was born in semen of God Narayan in the form of boar, in the womb of Goddess in the Golden Age.

There is a fascinating story how Goddess appeared before Narakasur and he proposed to her being attracted by her beauty. Devi said if he is able to construct four stone paths round the Nilachal hill within a night itself she will marry him. Narakasur started his work rapidly and Goddess thinking that he soon will accomplish the task given so with her magical powers send a cock to call the dawn.  Hearing the cock crowing , Narakasur became furious and ran after the cock to kill it crossing the river Brahmaputra. At last, Narakasur killed the cock with a sharp instrument and that  place has been famous as “Kukurakata Chaki” where the cock was killed.

Later Narakasur was killed by Lord Vishnu and Devi Mahamaya for his tyranny. Presently, on the way of climbing up on the Kamakhya hill from Pandughat, there is a tom stone near the Liongate besides the statue of God Ganesh which bears the remembrance of Narakasur till now.

Bhag Dutta took possession the throne of Kamrup State after  death of king Narakasur. He believed in Baidik religion of Aryan Race. The power of Kamrup State gradually decreased after the death of Bhag Dutta. At last family of Bhag Dutta was abolished and his state divided into small states.

Kamakhya temple was destroyed in early 16th century, and then rebuilt in the 17th century by King Nara Narayana, of Cooch Bihar. Images of the builder and related inscriptions are seen in the temple.

Later at the time of invasion in another era, Maharaja Biswa Sinha discovered the temple of Goddess Kamakhya on the Nilachal hill near Guwahati. The temple which was earlier built by stone destroyed and became a heap of earth. King  Biswa Sinha was engaged in war with king of Ahom, they deviated their path and came through the stone path made by Narakasur that reached at the Nilachal Hill. The king and his brother were very thirsty and saw old woman engaged in deep prayers under Banyan tree.The old woman seeing them directed towards fountain nearby to quench their thirst and asked them to rest under the tree. She told them that the heap of earth was the seat of a living deity Devi Mahamaya. If one takes shelter in the feet of the Goddess and with single minded devotion prays from heart, devotees prayers definitely gets answered. The king wished to be reunited with his soldiers and get the kingdom back. He promised to Devi that he will construct a Godlen temple dedicating to the Goddess after his wish is fulfilled.

Mystically King’s wish was granted but however he constructed the temple with bricks instead of Gold. Having violated his promise to Goddess the temple collapsed overnight and Devi warned king about his promise of Gold to which the king honestly said he is unable to afford the same. Goddess told him to keep one rati of gold between each brick and later magnificent temple came into existence.

Within the temple premises, we can also find two full size representational statues of Malladeva and Sukladhvaj. According to a folk legend, the Goddess Kamakhya, assuming the form of a beautiful woman, used to dance within the closed doors of the Temple at the time of the evening prayers. The Koch king Malladeva and his brother Sukladhvaj desired to see the dancing Goddess and as suggested by the chief priest Kendu Kalai, they peeped through a hole in the wall. She, however, got offended by the intrusion and tore off the head of the priest and turned the King and his brother to stone. According to another version, the King and his future descendants were henceforth, forbidden 'to cast a look even at her very hill' the Nilachal or they would die. Even today, descendants of the Koch royal family pass by the hill under the cover of umbrellas.

Festivals at Kamakhya Temple : Apart from the daily Puja offered in this temple, quite a few special pujas are also offered. They are-

• The Durga Puja is held here for sixteen days on a stretch during the month of Asvina (September- October).          
• Kali puja is held here during the month of Ashwin (October- November) and is observed with great devotion.             
• Durgadeul- During the month of Phalguna (February-March), this festival is observed.  
• Pohan Bia- A symbolic marriage between Lord Kamesvara and Kamesvari during the month of Pausa (Dec- Jan)           
• BasantiPuja- This festival is held during the month of Chaitra (March-April)
• Madandeul- This occasion marks the special puja for Lord Kamesvara. It takes places during the month of Chaitra.            
• Manasa Puja- It is observed from the Sankranti of Shravana and continues upto the second day of Bhadra(July-August)

During the annual Ambubachi Mela((Tantric Fertility Festival), the Temple precincts are closed to the worshippers as it is believed that the Goddess, along with the Earth, goes through her menstrual cycle. During this festival held in the month of June (the seventh day of Ahar according to the Hindu lunar calendar), during the height of the rainy season, the red haematite present in the soil mixes with the water of the natural spring that moistens the yoni, leading credence to the commonly held belief of a menstruating Goddess. After the temple re-opens, the devotees rush into it to gather the unique’ prasad’; parts of the cloth moist with the menstrual fluid of the Devi. This piece is regarded as highly auspicious. Each year marks around 5-6 lakhs pilgrims during annual Ambubachi Mela at the Holy Shrine-Shaktipeeth Kamakhya Temple situated at top of Nilachal Hill (Gateway of North East) about 800 feet above the sea level .

The practice of Tantrik rites is also prevalent on the Nilachal Hill. Tantricism flourished in the area during the reign of the Pala dynasty. To attain heavenly bliss, they indulged in orgies, relating to the practice of animal sacrifice, the eating of matsya and mamsa (fish and meat), drinking of madira(alcohol) etc. In past miraculous escape of a baby girl later named Tara after the Goddess was about to be sacrifice by mentally ailing father claiming as Tantrik  for blind superstitious belief that he will be immortal.

Recently, evil terrorists demons carrying bombs were caught by Cops near the locality of Kamakhya and devotees in fatal bus accident post darshan at the hill but no death proves the fact "Prayer is stronger than Reality" _/\_ Jai Maa Kamakhya Devi.

The Nilachal is also the abode of the Dasamahavidya or ten forms of the Goddess Uma. According to the Brihaddharma Purana, when Uma (Sati) wanted to attend her father Daksha's yajna (sacrifice) and Shiva forbade her, the ten different forms, the Dasamahavidya, came out of the third eye of Sati to frighten Shiva into granting consent. These different forms of the Mother Goddess, namely Kali, Tara, Mahavidya, Sodasi, Bhubanesvari, Bhairavi, Chinnamasta, Sundari, Bagalamukhi and Dhumavati are enshrined in different temples dedicated to her on the Nilachal. They contain no image and are known as Sakti peethas. The object of worship consist of a stone each moistened by a natural spring. According to the Pithanirnaya, the names of the Bhairavas associated with the Goddess Kamakhya are Umananda, Sivananda, Ramananda and Ravananda. The Nilachal Hill also has a number of temples dedicated to the different forms of Kamakhya's consort Siva. They are the Ghantakarna, Kedar Kshetra, Amratakesava, Kamesvara, Siddhesvara, and Kamalesvara. In the middle of the Brahmaputra river that flows beside the Nilachal, on the island of Bhasmachala (Ash Hill), are the shrine of Umananda, Haragauri and Chandrasekhara.

Thus, the abode of Kamakhya, at the Nilachal, became the centre of worship of the Mother Goddess in ancient Assam, a tradition that continues even today. The Temple received continuous royal patronage from pre-historic times up to the advent of the British. Along with the Goddess, her consort Shiva in form of Umananda situated at the peacock island amidst mighty river Brahmaputra is worshiped. The Temple sees a regular inflow of tourists every year from India and abroad including celebrities like Anil Ambani,Rani Mukherjee. There is a belief that newly weds must visit this Holy Shrine seeking Maa Kamahakya's blessings for marital bliss.The Kamakhya Temple has gained a worldwide repute due to its rich historical relevance,mysticism and uniqueness to have evolved as one of the most sought after pilgrims in the nation and worldwide.

There is a very special connect of mine with the Holy Shrine of Kamakhya as my mom seek blessings of Goddess Kamakhya and i was born :-) My life has been full of ups and downs but i am fortunate in a nation where female infanticide is common , my family wanted a daughter. With deepest gratitude i had pen down the following poem in honour of Maa Kamakhya _/\_

ODE TO DIVINELY DEITY-JAI MA KAMAKHYA_/\_

Jai Devi.....kare sabki aur jag ki raaksha.....

MA ki Mahima aapaar.......

Bhaktjan kare Jai Jai kar..............

Meri Ma ne mannat maangi thi godh main ek Beti..........

Dhanyabad Jai Ma Devi.....

Mujhe aapne diya aati sundar jeevandaan

Aur har janamdin jate karne Aapke Shubh Darshan....

Lekin isbar daud daudke Nilachal Parbat upar chadke,Ma ke Janam din par meri biniti aur mila nasseb main man chaaha Darshan.....

Kumari Puja Ho ya Sankranti...........

Ambubachi Mela mein bheed jaise-Himachal se leke Kanyakumari..........

Chaade Bhog aur bhi Bali..........

Dekha maine jab thi choti khoon se latpat bakri :-(

Kya maine khana uska maansh tyaag..........

Aur aankh bandh ki maine us chale purani vidhi..........

Sirf apna kartavyaa nivane ka socha aur ho usme siddhi..........

Bas Ma ke charan main aab ek hi iccha............

Woh hain Bharat Desh aur pure sansar main Aaman ki aasha...........!!(Composed by Ronmi dated September 2012-near Mom's birthday 11thSept)

BIBLIOGRAPHY

• From The Earth-Illumination-Trumpets of Divinity's Home (Stories from the Indian Scriptures: the Puranas) by Sri Chinmoy
• The Holy Shrine of Kamakhya - Dharanikanta Devsharma
• http://www.kamakhyatourism.com/
• http://kamrup.nic.in/
• http://www.bangalinet.com/kamakhya.html

Advertising Mania :-)

"Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you are doing but nobody else does." Steuart Henderson Britt (Marketing Management and Administrative Action)
On the contrary also, "Sometimes money spent on advertising is like winking at a gal in the dark.What's the use if she can’t even notice the efforts” :-)

Life is all about signs. Some see them & some don't. This well-researched, compiled & analyzed study shows us just how lesson-worthy our adverts are. And how sometimes, we are totally missing the point.

1. You can't eat chocolate unless you use all your 10 fingers & your entire face.

 

2. Girls want to achieve a hell of a lot of things, especially while they're on their periods.

3.  Gone are the days when moms hated washing your dirty clothes. Now moms just laaaaav it!

4. Mother daughter bonding is at its strongest while they both flaunt their hair or discuss effective shampoos.

5. Who said swapping phones can lead to confusion, loss of energy, time & can be really pissing off?  In fact, it strengthens bonds & cements mutual understanding between people. Now who would have thought that!

6. Every car is No.1, every goddamn car. So people, go buy all them cars.

7. Experts love their lab coats. They wear it all the fucking time. Because your trust is directly proportional to their lab coats.

8. One does not simply be happy with white teeth when you can have extra-white teeth.

9. You will impress the CEOs of this world if you apply skin whitening cream. CV? What is a CV? Qualification, go away!

10. Now why would a girl love a man with intelligence, wits & charm? Why? She would only respond to his deo. That’s just human nature, you know!

11. Having pan masala can make you buy cars, buildings, palaces & even countries.

12. Relief people! Our celebs are as normal as us! Kareena has serious dandruff issues, Katrina has dry hair problem, Shilpa has hairfall problems and Priyanka has oily skin. Joy to the world!

13. Your toothpaste has nothing except salt in it. You are brushing your teeth with nothing but salt. Salt is all you got.

14. Thums Up is always out of stock & you have to pull off weird stunts to get your hands on it. Because who wants to just walk up to the nearby store & ask for it?

15.  If your daughter is not ready to get married, take her to a jewellery store & that's all she'll want to do.

16. Always remember to close your door while brushing your teeth. Because curious TV reporters & their camera crews love storming into people's bathrooms at any given time.

17. Always keep your toilets squeaky clean unless you want a surprise toilet-check from your friendly  neighbourhood reporter & his crew. Also avoid looking like a Grizzly bear at all times.

18. Salman Khan can go all the way to the Swiss Alps wearing just a warmer and chappals. Dabang x 2400000000

19. You & your neighbour could have lots of things to fight about. But the greatest battle will be to out-do each other's super-whitest-white detergent.

20. If a stranger on a bench offers you chocolate, please don't question him. Take it & eat it. Maybe it's spiked but you never know.

21. The length of a car is measured by the number of 'A's in its name. Not baaaaaaaaaaaad.

22. SUVs are only meant to be driven on bad roads, high mountains and through deep water. And you better drive it like you're about to kill the big machine. Refrain from normal roads because then the car will run normally, nothing like you planned.

23. Parents can't enter their kids' electric bubbles unless they O-D on ice tea & remix.

24. And lastly, parental guidance. Stay away from mangoes. Because they make you want to say things & do things & *beep.*

Source: Inspired by this totally awesome Quora post

- See more at: http://www.scoopwhoop.com/story.aspx?menuid=2&contentid=70#sthash.gnwIXLgr.MiTxENR4.dpuf

21st Century PARVATI

First & Foremost  I would like to extend my BIG THANKS to one of my great true buddy SHIV SHANKAR in real and one of our random conversations resulted in penning down this article which took a while as I wanted to first visit Birth Place of Sati(Parvati is Sati's reincarnation) in the pure land of Kankhal close proximity to Haridwar.

I always keep telling Shiv, there might be millions of ShivBhakts in the planet but why am I queen of co-incidences (title given by Dear Maari who also bestowed on me BEGUM RON for my crazy fondness for Urdu & Nawaabs :-) So I was destined to visit birthplace of SATI(my Universe Mahadev’s first consort) and back of mind was the topic “21st Century Parvati” coined by Shiv meaning sarcastic title for girls seeking rich bloke for own easy secured reasons ahead.

Parvati  means 'of the hills' who is Sati’s reincarnation symbolizes “Eternal Love”. Sati sacrificed herself in the holy pyre as she could not bear insult of her Hubby Dearest, Lord of thy Universe Mahadev by her arrogant father Daksh Prajapati which led to the mass destruction around. Shiva picked up her lifeless corpse and wandered over the whole world, holding her aloft. Vishnu followed Shiva and taking his Sundersan Chakra , He cut off pieces of Sati’s body, limb by limb. Shiva realized that there was nothing more in his arms so retired to the mountain and went into deep penance refusing to meet anyone. Those places where Sati’s limbs had fallen came to be known as Shakti Peethas, where the power of the divine mother was most keenly felt. Later Parvati took rebirth and did not care about the hardships she had to face to get her true love-one & only Shiva and she worshipped for years to win His trust and love. 

Above mentioned is a brief backdrop of the eternal and purest form of Love story which has always inspired me till date but alas I can’t take such penance as Amarnath is out of reach for me and Marine Drive in Mumbai being total Mumbaikaar ain’t suitable, lol but jokes apart, i asked myself  is someone so worthy to undergo such sacrifice? Once one of my close school buddy Nilu bluntly said Parvati sacrificed immensely to please Lord Shiva and why is it that women always has to undergo all kinds of trial and tribulations to please a guy but now I got actual answer I was seeking for Nilu's sake. The guy was no ordinary one, it was Lord of this vast Universe Shiva who loved Sati truly,madly,deeply and Parvati was none other but Sati’s reincarnation. But Nilu’s thought provoking query is much valid in today’s era where Divorce and hitting court room seem like another mundane ordinary affair. Zero tolerance, will have it always my way kinda attitude and lack of compromise is resulting in lack of trust in sacred institution as marriage. If we always compare why me then road shall never reach the actual destination of Happiness but only obstacles of Ego will be loads on the path and instead of overcoming we succumb to most common route of Break Up.

Coming back to the real essence of 21st Century Parvati, I really don’t have the exact answer if it is appropriate to call a girl seeking only financial security and wanting only a  rich guy irrespective of the fact he respects her or not as some prefer the easy social butterfly tag and page 3 kinda lifestyle as perfect definition of today’s generation Parvati.  Or a girl who is super independent, breaking away from social norms and not comprising with any dumb head just to get the social status of Mrs in her twenties and ready to wait even post 40s to meet her Prince Charming and even better single and no strings attach with bindas attitude always? A homely naïve girl who is your mom’s choice but not yours and you decide to compromise to please your folks back home but carry on with extra marital affair with existing snooty girl friend? A girl struggling with daily affairs with zero savings as she is the only sole bread earner of her family and has to just forget the idea of meeting her Prince Charming and happily everafter ways as she has five younger siblings and ailing mother to look after?

I remember this interesting lady, Beauty Parlour owner i met recently who said nowadays if love is only not pure how can we expect materials like shakha pola bangles, sindoor that signifies the lifelong bond of marriage-a promise to be together not just this birth but seven births thereafter to be pure? Her comment made much sense to me so in nutshell, 21st Century Parvati is one who compliments her Shiva in every era of her existence.

"When a husband is happy, his wife will be fulfilled. If a husband is a thief, his wife will become one too. This is not a matter of this life alone. A husband and wife are as close as a form and shadows, flowers and fruit, or roots and leaves, in every existence of life. Insects eat the trees they live in, and fish drink the water in which they swim. If grasses wither, orchids grieve, if pine trees flourish, cypresses rejoice" In other words, two people stay together, share their lives or experience their combined karma together but they don't just get together randomly. Ideal relationship should be reciprocally be nourishing(Source- Article on Soulmate by Soka Gakkai International member)

P.S i want to leave the conclusion to the thinking minds of the readers..... And as in who fits perfectly under the title-21st Century Parvati? While breaking your heads you can also rewind yourself with the latest remix-HAR KISSIKO NAHIN MILTA YAHAN PYAR ZINDAGI MAIN.......!or i should also add SAACHA PYAR ISS ZINDAGI MAIN....!

A girl in the street and her Rangoli.....This Diwali!!

Maryada Purushuttam Ram's Homecoming, hustle bustle and bursting of crackers and symbolic festival glowing with lights everywhere........What strucked me while sitting in Marine Drive after three years, enjoying solitude and feel away from Family during festive joys, i decided to acknowledge the distinct side of Mumbai........True that Once a Mumbaikaar always a Mumbaikaar and always i have been vocal about the vibrant colours, multifacets and independence in Maximum City but it is also the same soil where we see tall skyscrappers and next to it slum dwellers as well........On one hand we have beautiful Chowpatty or Worli seaface residents and also people struggling to make both ends meet and other middle class travelling daily towards town or CST from beyond Virar or Ambernath, Kalyan junction too.

Krrish ek soch hain.......post Krrish 3 effects but the message in the movie about Humanistic appeal is thought provoking indeed.........As undergoing self reflection amidst testing times and braving winter to greet spring at earliest I was wondering what is real meaning of celebrations? Do all get to celebrate in reality? Slumdog Millionaire majority raise eyebrows saying how can Firaang Director show India in that manner and earn accolades but was he totally wrong?

Lost in deep thoughts as I was walking as if main aur meri tanhayee aksar yeh baate karte hain I bump into some street kids…….Had few sweets in my bag and as I distributed one young girl with two babies had tears, my heart pained seeing such plight……….Why the hell we crib, ok  stability will happen though taking time but atleast we have a roof upon us, good education and being physically fit, touchwood. I decided to stop complaining being away from family during Diwali as Maa is just a phone call away.

Then as I was about to board the local train from Churchgate, I came across a beautiful girl in the street making Rangoli alone and as I walked up to her with a sweet left in the bag and as from heart I felt it’s a real Diwali wish coming direct dil se and her way of saying Thank You and SMILE lit up my Diwali in all these years of existence. Sometimes celebrations is not just posing with glass of wine,uploading fancy pics in Facebook to show the world as though celeb lifestyle we too have and happening times 24/7. But sometimes its just random person in street whom you will never meet or even remember the face in the huge crowd but the serene thought within remains and feels way too contend. So I take back with me, Krrish ek soch hain  and Mumbai(one of the world’s most expensive cities) main acchi locality and hygienic conditions main rehne paana past acche Karam hain :-)

NRI(Non reliable Indian) FAD & Marriage Market.....!!

Recent Tele Saga creating waves in recent times in the idiot box-Bani....Ishq da Kalma revolving around dream for NRI groom and losing true desi love in the process and not just protagonist Bani but 1000s of innocent girls across Bharat fall easy prey to this common NRI trap for having coveted desire for easy global high standard of living. Due to increase in number of fraudulent cases at an alarming rate, a parliamentary committee has recommended a separate law for NRI marriages so as to curb any case of fraud by NRI party, hence emergence of the standard full form-NON RELIABLE INDIAN(no offence) no disrespect to any third party of whomsoever concern and dwelling in videsh. 

When Turkey's consul general Ozen visited India she was amused with the term-ARRANGED MARRIAGE and asked with great curiosity-Who will arrange the marriage? Can’t blame her mindset as in west this concept is rare. One of my very close buddy from East Timor was surprised that in India many people tie the knot in this manner. Life is indeed gamble and its like in matters of love, two hearts play and if meant to be they win in the sense of establishing a lifetime bond of everlasting commitment. But in this era where the word “TRUST” seems having got deleted to be replaced by antonym to be used as synonym instead “DISTRUST”. A young woman dreams of a healthy bond of marriage was shattered when she discovered after going to USA that her husband was a gay and he agreed because of family pressure. But what was this poor girl’s fault? She immediately returned to India and filed for divorce and does left her bitter taste towards life. Plenty are aware of incidents of shady men who put up fake profiles on matrimonial websites with an ulterior motive of sexual encounter. Even Aamir Khan's show "Satya Meva Jayate" hightlighted several cases especially where the girl's parents splurge over crores for dream wedding and the guy was settled in USA, only to torture her later, not providing food and she had to struggle to return back to India and file a lawsuit. The list of such sad plight and cases seem endless.

I am surprised at myself that I am writing article regarding anti-NRI when there was a time I suggested my eldest cousin sis to think regarding NRI-Australia rishta for her over desi counterpart but thankfully listening to her mom’s advice she made conscious decision and now happily ever after. Now as for me from all the glitters and immaturity, happy go lucky girl I have transformed into much wiser woman now especially after understanding the depth of true love even it was meant to be or not. Bottomline-In this wide world Moms are always right except Bani shown in the serial where her mom chasing NRI groom dream was so blind not to recognize genuine local guy’s true feelings for her daughter. May be one should watch  “HIYA DIYA NIYA” regional Assamese movie very popular smash-hit highlights this NRI Craze through a heart touching tale of childhood sweethearts.

Of course not all NRIs fall in the category of non-reliable Indian because one can’t help if to earn better bread and butter they have to seek greener pastures but wants to settle with own nationality girl and craving for ghaar ki daal and chawal over burgers.

What amused me most was when one of my friend mentioned about www.dowry calculator.com and honestly I had no clue that something like this actually existed or its sarcasm? Its really sad and disheartening that something sacred as marriage nowadays is prey of material gains and as if one is going to carry all the wealth when he or she shuts the eyes when God wills.

Just flipping through the pages of a magazine saw article of diva Madhuri Dixit Nene and so much respect for the matter of fact, rare actress with perfect gait, talent, dancing queen and charming eternal classical beauty who balanced both superb career and life post marriage with equally capable intellect surgeon and also NRI(exceptions are always there J And now raising two kids again she is back with stupendous bang tapping feet to the rhythm of GHAGRA showing her Jhalak with youth icon RANBIR.

Obviously back of the mind, we common girls next door wonder, why dream things beyond reach and consider Madhuri as idol etc? But its not just seeing perspective from BOLLYWOOD DIVA but yeah she got married at 32 and mother at 37 and if we say these kind of statistics to our dear Bharatiya aunties they will be like Oh Gosh post 30 is too late blah blah and chuck Madhuri she can afford things but so can we, can’t we? Atleast not necessary we may not have palatial mansion at Marine Drive but we can sustain ourselves and priortize work and Right Guy will obviously walk in at the Right Time rather we chasing it and getting stressed regarding age. I was told once “Right Guy will knock at your doorsteps for sure”. Early marriage doesnot guarantee success neither too late a baby at times but what matters is compatibility with the partner to sustain through turbulent times and have doubtfree Faith. 

So bottomline before NRI or Desi guy EMPOWER yourself FIRST, my dear girles and don't depend your happiness on a guy coz we are solely responsible for ourselves. Please stop being prey to this huge marriage market and dowry & unwanted unhappy adjustments and shift  focus on yourself and your priorities first. Like in Three Idiots punchline "Kaabil Baano, Kamyiyaabi Jhaak maarke peeche aayegi" and in similar context "Trust yourself, love yourself wholeheartedly and be as you are with beautiful mind and the most eligible bachelor in town would go down in his knees and will ask you that million dollar question :P And you might be in that position that you might just turn him down as he might be that same fellow who never understood your worth when you were chasing him or could be also HAPPILY EVER AFTER. But don't forget post marriage another challenge awaits but it will be a cakewalk for you as you are strong, courageous, confident and inspiring women of 21st century prior saying "I DO" :-) Cheers!!

Judgemental Janta :-)

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” ― Mother Teresa

Only soul as noble as Mother Teresa can give such indepth touching statement. Sometimes we go through such upheavels even Blood relations fail to understand us. They forget in their tough times we never shun away but in their sunny days they show their true colours. Welcome to the world full of Judgemental Janta :-) not just Mango Poeple :P You have slightly bigger waistline, poeple are after your lives not for healthy reasons but to pull you down saying no guy would want to date you. Who the hell is the guy to decide that and my bigger question does he himself have a physique like John Abraham or Hrithik Roshan? I am in no mood to please the society and life is simply way to short and beautiful even to make such an attempt.

Such is our society, obession for fair skins never ends. But glad to see slowly social norms undergoing much needed change. People complaining attitude will never transform. A girl stepping in her 20s, arey iski shaadi karwa do(get her married off) , in mid 20s why is she not yet having babies and again early 30s Oh what about second baby and if husband is away for work, OMG they both are heading for divorce as husband having a secret extra marital affair and this is just one of its example as task of pleasing people and society is next to impossible and trying to attempt is sheer foolishness.

Another common trend you will notice, Bitching Friends lol. They will stay together, hang out together, girlie gossips, conversations revolving around rich bloke and all the materials world can have but in another company will talk negative about each other. I wonder how can friendship be just a need for convenience over genuine stuffs.

So if you into spirituality, you do Buddhist chant at young age then they will say not meant for you. You should party hard, go out for dates and in 60s get in to all this but i question why should i abandon Faith which was with me in my tough times over superficial people and things? 

They will judge you till the time of your funeral but who gives a damn. Same people who ridicule Amitabh Bachchan when his company was in debts worshipped him post KBC. Same people who put Saurav Ganguly in pedestal once treated him like nobody later. So success is directly proportionate to the people liking us? But is it for genuine reasons? Never. They will always probe in your life asking any good news knowing you are struggling on your own even post losing your beloved Father.

Matlabi Duniya Matlabi Log but I am not a pessimistic. Mind you again you talk practically, sometimes your own best friend labels you as negative.  Can we continue such friendship which lacks basic understanding and trust?  Icing on cake when we write articles, poems revolving around mushy stuffs and romance, again presence of judgemental janta to ruin the real essence of the article by commenting poor girl, she is alone she needs a Boyfriend. I don’t want to snub back or either sound rude and say Poor You, fuck yourself but want to kill them with a dazzling smile. For that also another judgement, Poor Thing, she is affected or always taken for granted.

What I fail to understand is the hypocrisy. For instance same thing I do becomes annoying and when you do deserves Oscars.

I am signing off from the world of judgemental janta as I have found solace in self and my independence quoting  “Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect -and I don't live to be- but before you start pointing fingers... make sure you hands are clean!”  ― Bob Marley

P.S Judging others is a slander as per spiritual teachings as everyone has potential to be good. Biggest example-King Ashoka, who could imagine a person responsible for bloodshed will reform and take up Buddhism.

Tum Se Hi DEV D <3

"To err is Human, To forgive is divine" as the old adage goes but in this ruthless world these days i would say "Selfless Love is Divine" and is it so divine that it can make you forgive someone who broke your heart, inflicted pain and snatched everything you had? My exact thoughts post watching Lootera and leaving aside my evergreen BONG CONNECTION and Sawaar loon ;-)

I don't want to go indepth about sizzling chemistry between Pahi and Varun Srivastav and betrayal in love but i guess most difficult thing in the Universe to stop loving or moving ahead from someone who never intend to hurt you. That's exactly dilemma of a girl next door Rudrashi Chowdhury (character figment of my imagination and inspiration from life's experiences :-), big ShivBhakt,fond of Urdu Poetry and idolises Parvati's true Love for Shiva,  and gave her precious heart to Daksh Dasgupta,her college batchmate who hails from West Bengal and ardent Soccer Fan. Irony is that both Rudrakshi and Daksh hardly knew each other but what caught Rudrakshi's attention was his innocent smile and gentle mishti Bengali conversations with his friends in the college cafe. Rudrakshi immediately spotted Daksh in social network site and was overwhelmed to know Daksh studied in St. Edmund School located in her hometown Shillong. Now having a common platform to talk about Rudrakshi after weeks of contemplation and endless discussion with her bestie Shraddha aka Shradz as she fondly calls her send a message to Daksh. She narrated how she was happy to come across someone familiar with her hometown in college and anxiously waiting for Daksh's reply. Sweet as he is and sweeter was his reply wherein he mentioned how glad he is to have come across someone from Shillong after ages as he had spend best period of his life in her hometown. Excited as her nature was, Rudrakshi being non-bengali told Daksh-aami bangla alpo alpo jaani :-) (i know Bangla little bit) As days passed by and Rudrakshi’s college end term was near and it was getting difficult for her to keep her feelings for Daksh within her. Being of creative bent of mind, she composed a poem for her beloved and revived her old writing and scribbling habit. She had asked this question to herself "Am i falling in Love" compiling each and every minute details of Daksh, his hidden singing talent and love for Soccer and she ended her note with these lines " 

If its meant to be it will be-The most coveted deepest BONG connection or else..........

"Someday someone will come in my life and make me realize why it didnot work with anyone else :-)

Shraddha asked her to confess her true feelings before she left college for her hometown but Rudrakshi was getting more and more anxious. She felt Daksh might be in a relationship with someone else but most of his classmates including Vanessa said confidently he is single and her feelings grew more and more for this sweet sober Bong Babu :-)

Last week of Rudrakshi's college life and she got to know Ugly Truth that Daksh was committed. Shraddha was worried thinking this awful news would be unbearable for her Bestie. But Shivji(Rudrakshi's Universe Mahadev's blessings) she was able to accept the same like pinch of salt as her close buddy Kabir Hashmi played guitar in last college session. Kabir was a magician (Actor+Photographer+Painter+Musician) and in nutshell artist and for Rudrakshi a celebrity, she kind of worshipped him being his Biggest FAN and also has his autograph treasured till date. Kabir gave her best farewell surprise ever and she left college on a happy note. Rudrakshi had no expectations from Daksh because it was eternal true feel and she believed in True Love is sacrifice and wanted his happiness wholeheartedly. So with heavy heart she said bye to him. He had slight clue of her feelings and didnot want to hurt her and wished her goodluck for future.  She just told Daksh over a chat how he inspired her back into writing and he just said one line that keeps her going till date-Keep up the Good Work. Remember Life gets better. She sincerely asked him to chase his soccer dreams always. As they parted their ways, the song coincidentally played in college mess was-Sheesha ho ya dil ho aakhir toot jata hain and Rudrakshi just laughed thinking how weird things seem with such co-incidences. Rudrakshi nicknamed Daksh as "DEV D" (not he is some Devdas but she refrains emotional attyachar as he means the world to her :-) Rudrakshi realized connecting the dots that Daksh came in her to inspire her to get back to writing her passion since a kid.

As time passed by, Rudrakshi told Kabir how she genuinely fell for Daksh and how lucky she is to have a best buddy who unknowingly eased her pain by his magical presence and at same time Kabir also was coping with his recent breakup with Christine, Spanish national whom he met in college exchange fest. Meanwhile Rudrashi's father fell ill and was admitted in hospital. Those crucial moments Rudrakshi used to talk with other college close buddies Shankar Nath, Bhabesh, Vanessa, Kaushik whom she trusted and confided everything and one of them she treated like her own younger brother named Subroto Sen. After a while when her father was discharged from the hospital and there was a Mohit Chauhan Live in concert at St. Edmund School. Rudrakshi loved heart touching tracks of Mohit Chauhan and especially TUM SE HI from romantic commedy and Bolly blockbuster "Jab We Met". Unable to move on from Daksh's thoughts in head she decided to watch the concert with friends in her hometown. That night she was restless and message Daksh wishing him all the marital bliss ahead thinking he is going to tie the knot with his sweetheart soon. 

After two months, Rudrakshi was casually browsing social networking site and came across her college  professor Mr. Kumar posting about the other batch's convocation. She just clicked generally to know about the event and her happiness knew no bounds to see Dakshi winning a medal in the prestigious convocation ceremony. Rudrakshi smiled within because she also knew Daksh was pretty laid back guy, contend with life and away from mad race & competitions. Rudrakshi remembered in her birthchart it was mentioned she will be lucky for her beloved friends. It gave her outmost joy to congratulate Daksh and also mentioned about her father’s illness. Daksh being such a wonderful human being replied Rudrakshi’s wishes really means a lot to him and he will pray for her father’s speedy recovery.

Kaushik was excited to break the news to Rudrakshi about Daksh "Dada" as he fondly addresses his college senior. But before he could, Rudrakshi interrupted as she knows everything about her 1st love before anyone else. Kaushik was a brat who loves to travel and was dating Karishma, bold beauty he encountered in one of his trip to Switzerland-olalala romantic city where even Raj-Simran DDLJ romance was shot. 

Rudrakshi was talking to Bhavesh who broke strange yet shocking news to her that Daksh was dumped by his girlfriend. Rudrakshi brushed it aside causally thinking it to be some rubbish rumour. After a month, romantic dreamy girl's world was shattered as the man who loved her the most in this wide world left for heavenly abode and yes we getting it right here, her beloved Father whose one of the greatest desire to see his daughter's marriage. Rudrakshi was torn apart and only strength in such testing time for her was her doubtfree Faith in Her Mahadev and Buddhist chant. She was super active member of a Buddhist Organization spread across 192 countries and originated in Japan. Shankar Nath, her true friend used to always cheer her and she confided in him about her liking for Daksh. Shankar respected her thoughts and said this wonderful line that Love is too perfect in his mind just like poetry is for him. He made her smile citing Ghalib-Duniya Main aur bhi gaam hain Mohabbat ke siwa :-)

Rudrakshi was feeling terrible because once she had mentioned to her Dad subtly about Daksh's existence but it was so unfortunate for her as he was committed. She felt she should inform Daksh about her father’s untimely demise. At midnight she received most touching message wherein Daksh said God will give her the strength to cope her with such precious personal loss and he is sure she will meet a great guy and much better than him in future. Also added his signature line she adored like hell-Remember, Life gets better :-) Rudrakshi wished her once love of her life all the very best and said for her Friendship is above anything in the world.

As days passed and Rudrakshi contemplating to leave Shillong and seek greener pastures on her work front and she was happy to know that Daksh and others got great job offers. Daksh will be based in Kolkata closer to home sweet home and so his happiness knew no bounds. Suddenly on one Monday post her father’s death she decides to give aarti to her Universe Mahadev Shiva and as she came out of the temple she got a call from her younger like brother Subroto. Subroto was unaware regarding Rudrakshi’s feelings for Daksh and since he was leaving for Delhi and it will take several months for her to meet him in person, she just shared her heart to Subroto. And Subroto’s immediate reaction was Daksh is a nice guy but he was dumped by his Girlfriend. Are you aware? He asked Rudrakshi. In reply she said she heard but thought its some kind of rumour and hard for her to believe as she can’t see Daksh being heartbroken. Subroto told her that how he wished he should know about her heartfelt thoughts. She said its too late now and not the real good time and also she has moved on. Subroto told her you might meet someone better, who knows and Rudrakshi said doesnot matter to her anymore who is good, better and best as she will accept life way it comes by. She ends the conversation with her little bro 

laughing off narrating how in college she danced from her heart seeing Daksh in the crowd in one of the college fest :-)

Deep inside Rudrakshi had this question to Faith,God,Destiny & Universe- Why she met Daksh if it was not meant to be and if he was so committed why he had to go through bitter break up? And on contrary her love was so pure and selfless without no expectations. Why Daksh can’t see through her hidden genuine emotions?Now when she had almost moved on once again Life came as a Full Circle.

She had disturbed sleep, puzzled by so many endless thoughts of future. She has her beloved mother more of a best friend to look after, her career, and get settle and do everything possible to always keep her beloved Father’s soul happy and contend. She sincerely wished Daksh’s happiness and she was hurt because he was hurt. This is the depth of human greatest emotion and gift called LOVE.

Unlike Varun Srivastav who ditches Pakhi in Lootera, Rudrakshi’s love for Daksh was sacrifice,also Daksh never intend to hurt her but destiny was playing hide and seek games with them time and again. Rudrakshi is grateful to God that she did not had to undergo heartache unlike her majority of the girls and having heard their sad tale of woe because Daksh was genuinely a good person and was never mean or wanted to hurt her at any cost.

On June 20th June 2013, Doorbell rang at Rudrakshi’s place. She received a letter saying she is chosen for a regional training to be held in Kolkata on 28th July 2013 as part of Japan NGO she was active member.

Kolkata…….Mishtiland…………Daksh, Rudrakshi’s eye candy out there and so many ?? Isn’t it mystic?Out of both excitement and anxiety she calls Subroto who explains her how a go getter in between will mess up the matter and asked her to have heart to heart conversation with Daksh. Daksh is way too crestfallen and has no room for another relationship and all Rudrakshi wants is presence of his beautiful Friendship in her life and she has left things to God and if they are destined to be together it will be no matter what.

Rudrakshi is about to board train to Kolkata, her bestie Shraddha pings her saying to talk to Daksh one last time and if possible to meet him in person but she is scared to get hurt again. Last time Kabir’s magical performance healed her wounds but this time it will be bit too much to handle. She is in a big dilemma.

Dil hain ki manta hain nahin is apt for you Darling Rudrakshi as one of her sister and comrade in Faith, Bipasha keeps teasing her. But Bipasha also warns her to make sure if Daksh is the one for her because they harldy know each other personally and Rudrakshi now in total Bong avatar post Sawaar Loon-aami jaani na(I don’t know) Because she doesnot wish to further bleed in love and get pain of unrequited love instead she wants to say Cheers to beautiful Life and make it meaningful for plenty of others who care for her and may be Daksh’s words some kind of prophecy-she will meet someone better than him in future? But Rudrakshi knows her heart can never compare and deep inside she just has this one great wish that Daksh must know about her selfless love for him no matter.

Will they reunite again or Daksh will be indifferent to Rudrakshi’s true feelings? Rudrakshi has no contact details of Daksh not even his email id or mobile number. Kaushik is also out of town who was Rudrakshi’s last ray of Hope to make Daksh aware about her genuine feelings while they were in Kolkata. Rudrakshi is lost in deep thoughts and also back of her mind thinks if it is better to start afresh overseas if possible and close the chapter of Daksh altogether rather getting hurt upteempth time. Train reaches Howrah station. Rudrakshi heart is beating fast as she is humming Sawaar Loon and what if she bumps into Daksh but alas………..(to be continued)